16. January is out to get me + hooping madness

Guys…this month has been rough. Not in a “oh, the weather sucks, and I’m tired, and I just want to lay under blankets” way. Well…yes. But also because everything is breaking this month. My new computer, my winter boots, my dryer, my heart…ok, that was emo. I apologize. I need to get real for a moment, though. I have been a little sad this month. See, I’m turning 27 in two months and I’m not exactly where I thought I’d be in life. I do have a lot of wonderful things going on, and that makes me unbelievably happy, but…I can’t believe I’m writing this, but…I really want to start a family. I want a husband. I want a baby. (Yes, Mom, I want a baby…) A lot most of my friends are currently in a serious relationship, engaged, or trying to get pregnant right now, and I’m not. And I’d like to be. Now, cue everyone saying, “Oh, Steph, you’ve got plenty of time. You’ll find someone when the time is right. God has a plan for you. You just need to be patient, and it’ll happen when you least expect it.” To anyone who had that thought pop into their head: SHUT UP! Here’s the reality of the situation: yes, I firmly believe God has a plan for me, and that I will find someone. But I am not patient, and I am ALWAYS expecting it. Literally. I walk into Target to buy panty liners, and I’m on the lookout. I can’t help it. Also, I’ve not had a boyfriend in seven years. SEVEN. YEARS. (That’s how long I’ve been teaching dance!) Granted, there have been months/years when I haven’t wanted a boyfriend, but there’s also been plenty of time that I have and it’s just not happening. I am unbelievably frustrated, and just plain sad. I want a baby. Seeing people with their babies makes it worse. Hearing people talk about their kids makes it worse. Knowing that I am nowhere near having a family of my own? Well…that’s why this January is sucking. I am so, SO happy for all my friends. I am. I’m just having a hard time waiting…and people telling me it’ll be ok, is not helping at all. 

…I probably should have warned you I’m half way through a glass of wine right now. And, I just saw the preview for “Winter’s Tale,” which makes me a little teary. Also, I typed “flask” instead of “glass.” Whoops.

So…the hula hooping update. It’s going well…but I can’t freaking wait for this month to be over. I don’t think I’ve cursed any of my list items as harshly as this one. I just really don’t like this hula hoop anymore. Woof.

Day 18 (Jan 20): 3 minutes

Day 19 (Jan 21): 1 minute (Between the weather and dance, I was in a whole lot of pain that night. I barely made it to 1 minute.)

Day 20 (Jan 22): 10 minutes

Day 21 (Jan 23): 6 minutes

Day 22 (Jan 24): 6.5 minutes

Day 23 (Jan 25): 4 minutes

Day 24 (Jan 26): 3 minutes

Day 25 (Jan 27): 6 minutes

 

I am in the final stretch, people! 6 more days and I’ll be finished! Yay! Thanks for hanging with me, and also for letting me get a bit sentimental today. You all are the best! Remember to follow me, and leave me some comments! I appreciate it 🙂

xoxo

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One thought on “16. January is out to get me + hooping madness

  1. 1) I’m so proud of you for sticking with hula hooping! I couldn’t do it! 🙂
    2) I won’t say any of those cheesy things. I actually knew right away as I read the first half of this post that you would NOT want to hear any attempts at rationalizing this. But I do love you!
    3) did you finish off the wine from last night? I wouldn’t blame you because that shit is delicious!

    Like

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