The One with Me

Hold on to your hats; I’m getting candid today, everyone. I’ve been having some physical issues, I guess you could say. I’ve been debating whether or not I should share this on here or not, but I know you are all rooting for me, and some of you have been following this list for almost two years, so here we go.

So, last winter, I started experiencing back pain when I was teaching. It was occasional, and didn’t get in the way of me doing my job, so I didn’t think much of it. By the end of March, the pain was more consistent and lasted much longer. Being the worrier I am, I was convinced I’d ruptured something or had some strange back cancer, so I scheduled an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon. They took some x-rays of my back, and everything looked normal. The doctor diagnosed me with “sacroiliitis.” Basically, I have inflammation in my sacroiliac joint, which is where my lower spine and pelvis connect. Anyway, he sent me to physical therapy for a few weeks. It was painful, but it really helped. My summers are less dance-intensive, and I had more time to rest, so the pain faded away. In the fall, I was diligent about properly warming myself up, and letting my student volunteers lead when I was feeling tired. 

Fast forward to January and our freaky cold weather. My back was getting really tight and uncomfortable again. The second half of the dance year is insane. I think I’ve warmed myself up before class once…in four months. I won’t bore you…things just got worse. Finally, a few weeks ago, as I was strapping an ice fanny pack to my back to make it through my last class of the night, I knew I had to go back to the doctor. They took x-rays again, they came back normal again…sacroiliitis, again. This time, my doctor recommended a cortisone shot. I’d had one before in my shoulder, and it was no big deal, so I agreed. They told me they’d call the next day with an appointment time. Well, I did get a call the next day…FROM THE SURGERY CENTER! Holy shit. My “no big deal” cortisone shot ended up taking place in an operating room, while I wore a hospital gown/shoe covers/hair bonnet thing, and got wheeled around in a wheelchair. What an experience.

So, I’m 16 days out from my shot. Things have definitely improved, but I’m not pain free…and I don’t know if/when I will be. Positives: I feel fine most of the time and I’m not limping around anymore. Negatives: I have to take it easy. I’m not good at that. I’m trying…but when I do overstep and do too much, I pay for it. It’s not pain that gradually creeps up; it’s instant and it HURTS. Throughout most of this ordeal, I’ve really tried to hide when I’m in pain. I think I’ve associated pain with weakness, and I didn’t want to look weak to my coworkers, my students, or my family. I also (for some reason) didn’t think people would actually believe me. So, I kept my mouth shut and plastered a smile on my face. But, it’s to the point when I am hurting, I can’t hide it anymore.

So, what am I doing? I’ve created quite a bond with my heating pad. I’m buying Ibuprofen fairly regularly. I haven’t danced full out with one of my classes in almost a month. I had a recheck appointment on Wednesday. (Side note: rating my pain on a scale of 1-10, and equating my pain improvement to a percentage is BS…85%  BS.) The appointment went well and the doctor thinks I’ll continue to improve, provided I don’t do any of the things that aggravate my back. (Standing, bending, jumping….need I go on?) I’m trying to let his positivity rub off on me a bit, but it’s hard. It’s hard to not be able to dance, or exercise, or even clean for too long without hurting. I’m frustrated. I’m tired.

That’s why I decided to share. Not because I want you to feel bad for me, or think I’m looking for attention. Today, I’m asking each of you to send some good vibes or prayers into the universe. I’m hoping that, if each of you says a prayer, or sends out good vibes, it will help me feel better about all of this…and hopefully, my back will continue getting better as well.

If you made it through all of that, you deserve an award! (I’m making Nutella cake tomorrow; stop on by!) Thank you in advance for supporting me in my journey. I know this isn’t part of the list, but it is part of me, and I thought it was important to share all aspects of the journey, not just the fun ones. On a completely unrelated note, I’m hoping to start work on a fun thing tomorrow. 🙂 I’ll keep you posted.

xoxo

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5. On April 19th, every year- go outside and try counting the stars. It will put a lot of things in perspective.

I am overwhelmed by this day. (Also, hi.) I’m overwhelmed. We’ve officially reached the final stretch of the dance year. The part of the year when I have very little control over anything. It’s a waiting game; waiting for my students to remember their choreography, waiting for them to apply corrections, waiting for my set pieces to be finished… I’m not a patient person. I don’t like waiting. I know everything is going to come together in the end. It always does. I’m always happy and so impressed with my dancers. But right now? I’m forced to be patient. And so, today, in a nutshell, sucked. Also, I’ve killed three spiders and a silverfish since I got home a little over an hour ago. And I ran out of monster cookie ice cream. Overwhelmed. In more positive news, I had a fantastic Easter weekend!  I watched the “Scandal” season finale (still trying to process…), ate copious amounts of pasta with Mal, and caught up on Grey’s and Resurrection. Friday, my parents picked us up and we drove to Minnesota to spend the weekend with my other sister, Kaylee, my grandparents, and my Aunt Sarah’s family. I ate fantastic food, played a whole lot of cards, and, most importantly, did a whole lot of nothing. Excellence.

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Hot chocolate on a cool Minnesota morning

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…I’m not above cheating when playing cards.

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Basketball, DeLacy-style

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Watching the basketball game with Mal

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My Aunt Sarah and I, rocking the Easter dresses

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My awesome family!

When I wasn’t stuffing my face with cheesecake and taking awesome selfies with my youngest cousin, Gaby, I was working on my list! For those of you that don’t have a calendar, Saturday was April 19th, meaning I had some star counting to do! I was really nervous I was going to freeze my ass off, but it was beautiful out! Well, beautiful and cloudy. Oh so cloudy. So cloudy, in fact, that when I laid down on my aunt’s driveway at 9:30pm, I couldn’t see a single star. Not. A. One. I searched for 7 or 8 minutes with no luck. I changed my angle. I stood up. I sat down. I looked east. I looked west. I looked at every spot in the effing sky and yet, still no stars. I was pissed. I was pissed at the sky. I was pissed at the clouds. I was pissed that, the one night I needed to count stars, I had nothing to work with. Really, I think I was mostly pissed at the universe for not letting things go my way. Yeah, I know that’s selfish…I’m ok with it. At that point, I wasn’t sure what to do, so I called Ria. I figured she’d have some words of wisdom or would give me a free pass to try again on April 20th. Anyway, Ria didn’t answer so I left her a pathetic message, wished her a happy Easter, and hung up. I went to sit up when it happened. A cloud had shifted ever so slightly to reveal four tiny stars. I squealed and counted those four stars a million times. I had four stars. FOUR. STARS. I snapped a bunch of pictures, but only one turned out. I put my phone down and three more stars appeared. Seven. I got seven. Then, as quickly as they had appeared, the stars were gone. A dark, cloudy sky. But, for a brief moment, I got to see seven stars.

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My view from the driveway

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Waiting for the stars to come out…

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Waiting…for Dumbledore…

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…does this count?

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Partly cloudy, my ass.

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That tiny dot in the middle? One of my stars!

I know it may seem silly. I got 12 kinds of excited over seven little tiny stars. But, to me, it served as a reminder. A reminder that sometimes, things do go our way. And that was a reminder I really needed.

xoxo

The One with Me Just Saying Hi (Plus…PRESENTS!)

Happy Wednesday night, everyone! I don’t have anything new to report; I just wanted to say hi. I was reminiscing tonight and was looking through my original list…long story short, it made me want to write something. Even though I don’t have much to say. So, I thought I’d make two announcements, pose a question, and give you some presents, out of the goodness of my heart. Yes? Yes. Because who doesn’t like presents?

So, announcement #1: if you remember waaaaaaaay back, I am supposed to count the stars on April 19th. As in Saturday. I’ll be in Minnesota, the great tundra. Pray for me. This should be an excellent post. I’m talking “me killing bugs and crying about it” excellent. Get excited.

Announcement #2: the new blog (Table for One) is off to a great start! Why is that important? Well…as it’s going to lead to a super fabulous cookbook written by yours truly, I’d say that’s pretty damn important and exciting! Want to keep up with what I’m doing and try some awesome recipes? Click above, or find me on Facebook!

Ok, now the question…#15 on my list is to do something that scares me, something physical. My question is: would you rather see me do one, big scary thing, or several smaller scary things? I have some options…though I’m open to suggestions.

Now, presents. As a thank you for reading my blog, I wanted to share some blogs I love with you! Please check these out and give them some love!

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Lessons from My Dog Kids

Written by one of my best friends, she chronicles all the crazy things my doggy nephews and niece do!

If you love dogs even a little, you will really enjoy this blog. It just cracks me up!

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Pleats and Pearls

I know what you’re thinking…who’s the fabulous lady snuggling that adorable cat?

That’s my baby sister, author of Pleats and Pearls. She is a Midwest fashion blogger. Her blog is EXCELLENT! Check it out!

Alright folks, it’s late so I’m off to bed. Have a happy Easter and we’ll talk soon. xoxo

19. Write a Book

Happy Monday, everyone! If you’re like me, Mondays are the nasty yellow gummy bears that you eat first, so you can enjoy the satisfaction of eating all the red ones last. Mmm. Anyway, I figured a Monday would be a great day for a big announcement! I am ready to tell you all what I’m planning for my book.

After a lot of consideration (and finding out that one of my book ideas is actually becoming a Hallmark movie starring Katharine McPhee…crap!), I’ve decided I want to write a cookbook! Cooking has always been one of my passions, and I love to experiment in the kitchen. A friend suggested I write a lifestyle cookbook, about why I eat what I eat and how I make it all work…so if I decide that would interest anyone, I may go that route. I just feel a cookbook is the best fit for me and I’m so excited to get started. So excited, in fact, that I may have started already…

Rather than jumping right into the book writing, I’m going to start off with a cooking blog. One, because I’m obsessed with cooking blogs myself. Two, it’ll give me a chance to experiment and get reactions on the recipes. So, I have two huge favors to ask of you, my silent but faithful followers.

1. Please check out my new blog, “Table for One.” Read it, follow it, share it with anyone you think would like it!

2. Let me know what recipes you’d like to see me make! The majority of the blog will be dedicated to recipes meant for 1-2 people, but I do want to have a section dedicated to cooking for a crowd. No suggestion is crazy; please share away!

Thank you all so much in advance! I am so excited about this new endeavor, and can’t wait to see where it goes. I appreciate any and all feedback, so keep it coming…and enjoy the rest of your Monday!

xoxoxo